New Skills Take Time

Last week I went to my daughter’s kita to read some books to the children in her class. I took some English books, all chosen so that the children could interact with the pages and, in turn, we could all have a little chat about what was going on in the story. Despite the initial ‘who is this lady reading to us in a language we don’t understand’ faces, it was a sweet experience and the children really engaged with the stories.  

Whilst this isn’t an event I would usually use to lead into a blog, I found myself reflecting on it on the walk home (speedily, as I needed to dial into a client meeting). It struck me how far I’ve come with my German — and more broadly, how my confidence in navigating life here has grown despite my still-developing language skills. I went to my daughter’s school and chatted in German with the teachers but also with the children about the books – all without too much thought. My grammar may still be pretty fast and loose but day-to-day I am getting there!

Why am I raising this? Well mostly because this didn’t happen overnight. We have lived in Germany for nearly 8 years now and it has taken time, patience and commitment to develop this skillset and, dare I say, mindset. When it comes to learning new skills — particularly leadership behaviours — change rarely happens overnight.

When you start reading into the science of habit and skill formation, it is not quite what we have all been led to believe. A widely cited idea in popular culture suggests that new habits can be formed in just 21 days. However, the research this claim is often attributed to actually concludes that habit formation typically takes much longer — on average between two and five months, depending on the behaviour.

The human brain is often described as operating through two recognised systems. One is fast, intuitive and automatic, while the other is slower, more deliberate and effortful. Drawing on dual-process theory, new leadership behaviours initially require effortful, conscious attention (often referred to as System 2 thinking) and only become automatic, habitual responses over time through repeated practice and reinforcement. This distinction is well established in cognitive psychology, most notably in Daniel Kahneman’s 'Thinking, Fast and Slow', and helps explain why leadership workshops are a powerful starting point — but lasting behavioural change depends on continual practice, reinforcement and reflection.

What does this tell us? That research in leadership development and behavioural science consistently shows that workshops create awareness and shared language, but real behaviour change only happens through repeated application, reinforcement and reflection over time.

Take giving feedback as an example. After a workshop, a leader may consciously remind themselves to pause, ask open questions and listen without interrupting — all of which require deliberate effort in the moment. Over time, and with repeated practice and reflection in real conversations, these behaviours become more natural and automatic. What initially required concentration and reminders gradually turns into an instinctive way of leading.

A workshop will point you in the right direction, raise new principles, engage you with concepts but it requires you to go away and implement them in your team, in your day-to-day leadership processes, in how you approach your work life. This takes time, patience and commitment just like my German lessons. It is not a linear road. At SB Leadership, we often recommend follow-on sessions after training workshops — for example through peer or individual coaching — to reinforce learning and support leaders as they apply new concepts in real situations. This is not to say that workshops alone do not provide an impactful learning experience — they absolutely do. However, the true impact is often measured by a participant’s commitment to consistently applying what they have learned over time.

Leadership workshops are an amazing launching point — not necessarily the finish line.

So here's to all of us continuing to learn and broaden our skillsets in 2026, with a dash of patience and the conviction change will come with practice - Wünsch mir Glück!

Yours,

Alex

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